| 10. Pamela's breasts won't biodegrade until the year 4673. Scientists (working in conjunction with P.E.T.A.) search for a solution. |
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| 9. Endangered sea turtle newborns won't follow the moon back into the ocean, keep heading for Pamela's right breast. |
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| 8. Pamela once turned too quickly and knocked the last surviving Northwestern Snow Owl unconscious. (He's still recovering.) |
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| 7. Tides change at irregular rate resulting in an increased rate of whale beaching. This has "strained" the relationship between P.E.T.A. and Pamela...
Pamela promises P.E.T.A. she will remove offending implants... |
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| 6. A population explosion is occurring in Pamela's hometown of Ladysmith, British Columbia caused by a massive influx of horny males. |
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| 5. Scientists fear that the extra mass of Pamela's breasts conglomerated into one place will throw the Earth out of it's orbit and send it towards the Sun... |
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| 4. The excess gravitational pull is attracting unprecedented amounts of meteors toward the U.S. and Canada. |
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3. Low income hospitals are facing peroxide shortages due to Pamela's hair bleaching. |
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| 2. Underwater scenes in Baywatch are causing flooding in some coastal cities. |
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