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Welcome to "The Boob Research Foundation" You are invited to receive a charter membership in our organization! Hello ! Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Daniel L D'Hondt I am the Founder of "The BOOB Research Foundation". This is an exclusive invitation to join and support (no pun intended) our organization. If you have received this letter it is because you're one of the "select" few who have been granted a "no charge" charter membership ! This special membership status is being offered to you because of your special endowments... uh... efforts in the field of Male occulatory stimulation... uh... Sensory satisfaction... uh... Well suffice to say that you have been selected ! Many Women have expressed a great deal of interest in our foundation, and associated research. I have received Mountains of mail in support of my personal research on the subject of BOOB enhancement and of particular interest has been the field of the "lighter than air" breast implants (commonly referred to as "the boobs with no bounce") these apparently have been the main focus (ahem...) I mean the primary goal that I have directed my hands... uh... directed my work and research onto... uh... on. Some of the benefits that are included in membership are: 1) Up to the minute information on the latest synthetic &natural materials, shapes, and sizes available in implant technology ! 2) Information on financing your new implants, as well as which HMO's are covering this emerging... uh... Busting... uh... Booming preoccupation ! 3) Low income assistance and government grant programs (recent government studies have shown that women with implants are more reproductive...uh... Productive) 4) Information on what is happening around the World, the latest styles and trends, as well as all the popular topless beaches ! 5) A WEEKLY news publication (not monthly or quarterly) we feel it is imperative to keep you abreast of the latest advances in technology! 6) I have also (through special arrangement with Victoria Secret) made available my personal line of brassier (no sport bra's), all at specially reduced rates ! Please note; with the technology that I have been personally responsible for inventing ("the boobs with no bounce") sports bra's are now a thing of the past ! 7) In addition to the weekly publication, we have a monthly magazine called "The Grand Tetons" ! Each month this specially dedicated magazine is Stacked & Packed... uh... Filled... uh... I mean to say that we leave no hill or mountain unclimbed in our search for examples of the latest in technology that is just busting out ! 8) A free personally autographed copy of my best selling book" What Men want in Women" ! This insightful book takes an in-depth study of the subject matter in hand... uh... I mean to say that I have carefully viewed each picture... uh... Paragraph in the book. (this is a limited offer as the books have been selling TWO at a time)! 9) A toll free hotline so you can reach out and let some one touch... I mean so you can stay in touch with our office. 10) Well heck ! If you aren't convinced that this isn't just the kind of association that you want to be involved with, you better look in the mirror... (side view)! As you can see, this is not some sort of "seat of the pants operation" we look forward to supporting you and lending a hand in your goal for the perfect set of hooters... uh... Tah-Tah's... uh...Boobs ! Your official certificate of membership, weekly newsletter, monthly magazine are on their way ! Thank you for taking the time to increase your bust... uh...Awareness regarding this matter. Sincerely, Daniel L. D'Hondt President/Founder
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